Dreadmills

Workout: 5 miles OUTSIDE. UNDER 1 HOUR. WOOT!!!!! Last time I ran this route I decided it was time to go to the doctor because it felt like I had a metatarsal stress fracture. Luckily, I just have jacked up hooves and nothing was broken. Five pain free miles today, I am so stinkin' excited!

Last night I was soooo excited about my blog award I did an extra 20 on the elliptical after my 30 on the dreadmill. Thats minutes, not miles in case you are confused. Forgot my headphones, so I had to make up the dialog for the TV in my head, which actually made the time fly by. And, it led me to start my top 5 ways to make dreadmill less dreadful:

Source (Check Mark Parisi out, he has some funny stuff!)

* Watch TV without the sound on and make up the dialog as you go along. I imagine this works really well if you have a gym buddy and you can roll play. Especially if your gym gets Univision. I am sure the people on the dreadmills around you will not be annoyed or offended by this in any way shape or form.

* Pick a ridiculously hard workout what is broken into intervals. That way, as you are cursing the dreadmill's existence, you know you have only 30 more seconds of 8 mph pace and 7.0 incline. People will be really impressed with your 4 letter vocabulary, as well as with how fast your legs can move on an impossible incline (note: don't try this with wet shoes... you will fall off the dreadmill).

* Run when there are super macho guys on the weight machines right next to the dreadmills. I use the gym at my apartment complex, and it is pretty small, so this is not difficult. The harder you run, the harder they have to grunt and increase their weights/rep so they can keep up with you. If you can get past how gross it is to hear guttural grunting and moaning from someone you don't know, it is extremely entertaining to mess around with these types. There is this guy who every time I increase my pace or incline, he grunts a little louder. It sounds like he is trying to pinch one off. One time there was another woman in the gym with me and we could barely contain out laughter as this was happening.

* Run like you are rocky. And get really into it. Shadow box like you are in the fight of your life. Maybe say the names of co-workers, ex boyfriends, or neighbors who you would love to sock it to them. If you are alone, it will entertain you until your arms get tired. If there are people around, they will be entertained/frighten of you, which is awesome. They will probably wish they were your friend. And, you will be working your upper body and core. Sweet.

* Run when there are other people around. They you can eavesdrop on their conversations. I used to feel bad at first for doing this, but when I realized that most the time these people are gossiping about other people at the gym, I felt entitled to listen. For instance, these neighbors (and older couple) hired a physical trainer to come in and do session in the common gym. Thats cool. But the trainer was super loud and the people were super awkward, it took everything not to stare (and not join in, she had an awesome routine). Once they left, the other two ladies on the dreadmills next to me went off about how annoying it was to have that super perky lady in there. They didn't realize she was the personal trainer, just a super perky red head, so they pretty much came across like idiots. So entertaining.

Ok, I am a shallow, insecure person who gets joy from making others uncomfortable and laughing at the idiocy of those around me. But I assure you, I am not the type to pass gas in an elevator or intentionally trip a stranger for a good laugh. I think people are amusing enough to make me laugh without being provoked. The grunting guy was something I just accidently stumbled upon and has been a gem ever since. And to be honest, I haven't done the rocky in front of people because I am a pansy, but I will do it when I am alone. Tomorrow I am probably just going to work on form on the dreadmill. The way my feet were just flopping around on the pavement this morning was pitiful. I probably looked like Pinnochio.

On a final note, the Bachelor starts January 3rd. So stoked for the new season and the snarky recaps at Daydream Believer. JF said he would watch with me as long as it isn't The Bachelorette. Something about not wanting to watch a bunch of guys go after one girl. If I didn't get to just make fun of the girls on the Bachelor, I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to watch it either. without the humor, that show makes me feel super insecure. Little does JF know, I am pretty much basing our Tahiti trip on the season finale of The Bachelorette (well, he probably knows now because I am pretty sure he reads this). If I don't swim with sting rays, I might throw a huge fit. Maybe I am going to have to school him on the Ali season. Is that on Netflix yet? Is this too much pressure on a guy? Lol. I mean, I missed the season finale because he came over with a bottle wine to hang out, and I couldn't say no. I was going to apply to be on the Bachelor before I got my job in Napa. I totally thought I could be the next Ali. I'm just saying..... Tahiti better be all I am building it up to be. I know, I am totally unreasonable and delusion :)

Cool Running

Although it technically isn't winter, it is officially "California Winter" because I had to get out the fleece lined leggings for this morning little run through the vineyards. No, California winter is nothing like winter in other parts of the country. And that is one of the many reason I had to move back. Seriously, who likes running in the snow? I sure as heck didn't!


"California winter" just means cool weather running, which isn't that bad besides the added bulk of fleece lined leggings and windbreakers. I hate running in layers. In fact, I hate running with clothes on. If I was a dude, I would run naked, or maybe just with a tiny sling on to hold the little guys in place. As soon as I get my Tahiti body, I plan on running as close to naked as possible. Keep your children at home, folks, Pull the shades, cover their eyes.


Another debut today is the Tahiti diet. Thats right folks, I am going to French Polynesia in June to celebrate my survival as a first year teacher and live my dream of being Ali from the Bachelorette, swimming with the manta rays. Because I want my photos to look like a bangin' Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photo shoot (see photo right), I have a lot to do in the next 6 months. Luckily, my other goal of setting new PRs for 5k/10k/half/full marathon coincides with my goal to look like a swimsuit model, so I am just goign to run my little heart out in 2011! Except, lets be realistic, I will never look like this chick because I love to eat. I am probably going to buy a bag of cheetos puffs after this blog to reward myself for my run and not buying them last night after drinking a couple beers (the other reason I will never look like her...although at that size, you probably only need one beer to do the trick...hmmmm)

My goal this week is to get a race schedule planned for 2011. I think I want to run 1-2 marathons (if they are close and I can get the dates to work out), 2-3 half marathons, 3-4 10k races and a 5k or two. Ambitious, I know! Is anyone running any races in California? Have any recommendations? I'd like to do some smaller races this year and I am going to try to do most in Northern California but might venture to southern california for a spring break/summer run. So far it looks like SF NWM in October again (this year I am going to run the whole thing... no knee problems!) and the SF Kaiser Half Marathon February 6th. It is time to start whittling away at my times so I can qualify for Boston some time before I die! Give your races, your dates, and maybe we can run together!

...and not so much

So, I thought I was going to have tons of trash talk about The Bachelorette season finale, but instead I just wept throughout the entire 2 hour episode. Right.

Instead we will discuss less pitiful things, like my new classroom and getting my fitness back on. Yes, I started working on my fitness and I am loving my new fitness room. I love love LOVE watching trashy TV while I am running, even though I read some health report that said watching TV when running makes you work less hard and burn less calories. But I know my abs are getting a work out when I am laughing out loud. It also helps to drown out the animalistic grunting of men using the weight machines. I am a single lady, I can't handle hearing men grunt or seeing them all sexy sweaty when they are working out. It is like I am 13 and boy crazy all over again. Help!!!!!!!

Tomorrow AM, when that cozy foggy marine layer is hanging in the trees, I am going to hit the pavement and log some miles. I want to log a decent double digit long run this weekend, so I need to build up right. No injuries!

Speaking of injuries, I look like Nancy Kerrigan. I fell on the stairs AGAIN and my knees look battered. Didn't hurt on the treadmill, which is good to know. My body is trying to sabotage me, but it will not win!

This week I will sanitize my classroom (even though it will be filthy by the end of second period on the first day of school) and hopefully get some stuff up on the walls. Maybe even start some curriculum planning. I am trying to come up with clever ways to make my classroom inviting and lighthearted for high school students. I teach Algebra this year. I hate corny stuff (like that poster with that kitten about to fall out of a tree that says hang in there) but love dry humor. What do you remember in your high school math classes and what would you have liked to look at?

The big 5-0!

50 blog posts... I never would have thought I could stick with this for so long. So now I have given myself a pat on the back and polished my gold star, you can also send me your warm love-filled congratulations for not giving up like I did on my photoblog.

Summer is that time of year when everyone moves. I try to move once a year because I get bored with my housing, enjoying bruising my legs and arms so I look like a black and blue giraffe, and like the magic of searching for everyday items hidden away in a sea of boxes. I bet you are asking yourself if you still have time to take advantage of the finer points of moving, and the answer is yes. Moving season is open until Labor Day. Score for you! (No, I will not help you move!)


For a single girl like me, moving means time spent with the parents, the only people who can't make excuses for not helping you move, even if they live 8 hours away. I am very VERY fortunate my parents made the drive this weekend to help. It is also fun to observe other twenty somethings moving with the help of their parents. The gusher of pride that comes with knowing your child is becoming financially independent is radiant and overflowing. Parents will go out of their way to make their kids uncomfortable, introducing them to any neighbor who walks by. Mine are guilty. So are my neighbors. Like children, parent scramble around through boxes and piles to find artifacts to present to new neighbors that showcase something you might have in common with their child. My neighbor's dad dug through his clothes to find his Chico State shirt, much to my neighbor's dismay. It was that funny/cute/awkward thing you still deal with, no matter if you are 10 or 30. You gotta love parents.

Blogging on stolen wi-fi, I will be very happy to have TV and internet tomorrow. After all, The Bachelorette season finale is tomorrow night.  Plan A is to watch it on while running on the treadmill for 2 hours for my weekly "long run". Plan B is to sit on my butt and watch it in my box dungeon. Both sound fabulous, am I right? Expect a snarky reflection on ABC's biggest contribution to society later this week. Good thing it is coming to an end so I am not distracted planning for the new school year. That makes me wonder... when is Glee starting back up? :)

Sangria and Cupcakes :)

Tonight I made the farewell feast: Seared Ahi, seaweed salad, squid salad, edamame, crab rangoon, Miso soup, and Lemon sorbet. This is the last night I am able to cook before the the great transition. Eating out from here on out (hello unnecessary weight gain!). I had to finish the sangria as well, or it would go down the drain. Who knew sangria paired so well with Ahi? Score!

Two thoughts for today. Had a great run this morning. Took random country roads and stumbled across some ridiculously huge houses. It is so refreshing to mix up the running routes, as well as imagine myself living in these unnecessarily large wine country chateaus. The standards for future relationships might be based on the square footage of the homes I ran by today, just saying. But honestly, the hills, the adventure of not knowing where I was going, the cool overcast morning, it all just came together. I really hope I can keep this up throughout the week so I can back on my training schedule. I was little worried about having enough gusto for the run, since I hadn't had breakfast, so I ate a chocolate cupcake before my run. I don't know if that is good practice, but it sure made for a heck of a run. I freakin' love chocolate cupcakes! They taste so much better than gels, and frosting really helps you go the extra mile!

Second thought: I didn't watch the Bachelorette Guys Tell All episode. Yes, I am totally addicted to the Bachelorette. I completed an application to be on the next bachelor, but never could bring myself to hit the submit button (not sure if I could hoe myself out quite like Ali did). But I didn't want to hear the guys talk trash on each other. Sadly, I watch the show because I have recently become obsessed with this idea of true love and marriage. But I would never last more than an episode on those crazy reality dating shows. Cameras have never been part of my vision on finding love, nor has been getting fresh so mom and grandma can watch on prime time. GROSS!!!!!! Anyways, I doubt I even know what love really is. Even if it slapped me in the face, I probably wouldn't know what hit me.

It all feed into something bigger. Watched Valentines Day the other night and didn't care for it. Even my stepdad (the Marine) said it was alright, but me, I would have rather drank a bottle gin myself and passed out (metaphorically, or course?). Even How I Met Your Mother is getting on my nerves. After the season finally on the Bachelorette (read: obsessive addiction, thanks Melissa), I think I might give up on all things related to love for a while. I just can't take it, it makes me irritable. And ask anyone who knows me, irritable is NOT GOOD. So, next Monday, after I move into my new apartment and don't have cable yet, I'll have to go to the gym for two hours to run on the treadmill so I can watch the Bachelorette season finale. Oh, the lengths I will go for the Bachelorette. It will be my final indulgence in love, but I won't feel guilty because I am going to burn about 1200 calories. Booyah!

Here is a final thought to leave you with. Going to dinner with a boyfriend from the past tomorrow. He picked the place, and it is spot on. Is this a good idea or bad? Hmmm.....

(wonder if he reads this, lol)