Let's try this again...

2 years off. No marathons, only causal running. And now I'm back :)

The marathon has always been a lifeline for me. When times get tough, training gives me focus, determination, progress, and results. Long runs turn my mind outward in. There is something to be said about the meditative powers of two and three hour runs. Thoughts tumble around in your head, worries and anxieties slowly grind away until you get to the polished kernel of truth in the matter. 

A lot has changed in the past few years. I learned what real love feels like. I learned a lot about the meaning of unconditional, and what it means to love someone as they are and not who you want them to become. I know what it takes to raise a family. I know about losing people, and moving forward without moving on. I always worried I didn't have it in me to love with everything. Life is amazing, how you can always expand your body, heart and mind to places you never dreamed possible.

I'm excited to recreate this blog to represent more of the things I love. Cooking and running have always been passions of mine that I love to share with whoever will listen. As I mature as a teacher, I have more ideas an successes I want to share with others, and the wisdom to know the difference between ranting and reflecting. And Zen Meditation has become a big part of how I navigate each day, trying to become a better version of myself. Moving forward, I want to the blog to incorporate all these things. 

So what have I been up to? Marathon training, of course! Santa Barbara is in 14 days and I'll immediately start training for Napa Valley Marathon a week after. I'm much faster than I was 2 years ago and I've got my fingers crossed for a BIG PR :) Every time I lace up my shoes I'm getting one step closer to Boston. Now that my taper starts, I'll have a lot more time on my hands to blog ;)

I'm also teaching Geometry & the Math exit exam course, and I am trying out a lot of new ideas and materials that I am eager to share. Hopefully I can figure out some labeling system to help sort this all out on the blog. I'm very open to suggestions, please share ideas!

Tomorrow I will hopefully make some homemade tomato sauce... I will be sharing more of my culinary adventures as well!

Hard Corps!

So, I talked to mi madre a day after I told her about the 13.1 heartbreak ridge race. She thinks I am crazy.
Race website course description (no map or elevation profile available):  13.1-mile course, 90% gravel off-road through the breathtaking rolling hills of Camp Pendleton in the 43 area. Course is on packed fire-roads.  This course offers a little bit of everything - it’s an out and back course, including rolling hills and some flat and fast stretches intermixed throughout. 
Not so scary sounding, right?  Maybe a little challenging, but no western states endurance challege.

Mom's description (has a vague idea of where it takes place, more than I do at least): I talked to a guy I work with who does triathlons and ironmans. He was talking about that race. There is a reason they call it heartbreak. Marines train there. It is not going to be easy (imagine it a tone of intimidation).

My response:  It's only a half marathon so it can't be as difficult as a full marathon. Boston had a hill called "heartbreak" hill, so if I could do that, I should be ok.

Mom's response: But that was a hill. This is heartbreak ridge.
(awkward pause)


My response: ...so you are saying I probably won't PR?
(awkward pause)


Mom's response: Well, I'll be there to cheer you on anyway. Maybe after we can go down to the beach and I can lay you out on a stretcher next to me while I lay out. First we can put you in the water and see what you attract. Go shark fishing.


My response: You need to have a fishing license for that.

I am so lucky to have family that supports me in my running endeavors, even though they don't really fully understand why anyone would want to be a distance runner. And knowing my mom, she was probably using some reverse psychology on me to make me train harder so I do PR at the race. She knows how competitive I am, and knows that anytime someone doubts my ability to do something it pretty much guarantees that I will get the job done. After all, if people hadn't expressed doubt about my ability to run a marathon, I probably never would have stepped up to the plate and got it done. Call it the Type A in me, but I am a goal/challenge oriented person who has a controlling desire to prove that I can do anything.

...and then I found this race picture. Maybe mom is on to something...

So, gotta train harder to make sure I PR on this breathtaking hilly/flat course that I now have a reason to be very afraid of. Good thing my new training ground is crazy hilly!

I have an Interview!

The job search officially began about a month ago, but now it is officially official now that I have an interview. Nervous because it is uncharted territory: Middle school and some science teaching responsibilities. The idea of working at a private school is exciting; having met some of the parents at this school already, I know that I will not face the same struggles as I have this year working with at-risk population. I also have applications with other schools closer to my family, which I am eagerly awaiting a response. I was never good at this waiting game.

I really underestimated how difficult my first year of teaching would be. Was it because it was my first year teaching high school? That I had never taught single-subject before? That I was the minority in each of my class periods? All of the above? I am ending this school year utterly exhausted from trying to be the best teacher possible for these kids, constantly having to defend my students, my career and my profession, and end back at square one without employment secured for next year.  I knew that I would most likely be pink slipped for the first 5 years. I knew it would be long hours making lesson plans and trying to figure out the best practices. I never once doubted if I had it in me to be an amazing teacher (I really believe I was born for this profession). But I would be lying if I didn't think to myself at least once or twice the past few weeks if I had what it takes to get past the next 4 years so I am not a statistic (Most teacher quit within 5 years of entering the profession).

With so many changes and things consuming my mental capacity, I have decided not to keep jumping into races. I am going to avoid setting myself up for failure and/or injury by committing the race without adequate training. Instead, I am working on my mental game. I have been a reading machine, finishing the book The Female Brain by Louanne Brizendine (fantastic read for both men and women) and started Dean Karnazes Ultra Marathon Man. Reading about how other people use running to become better at living is like soul food. I just eat it up.


When you hear about injury set backs in training, you mostly hear about physical injuries. There is overwhelming information about how to prevent and recover from IT band issues, nasty blisters, and muscle strains. But rarely do you read about how to overcome mental injuries. When life hits you like a bus and you just can't get back out to do what you love best. Anything that is of the mind is taboo for discussion in our culture.  In a sport so devoted to mental endurance and fitness of the mind, I am surprised there are not as many resources focused on treating injuries of the mind and spirit. If you fracture your hip, you can water run. Stretching, cross training, and rest all help us prevent and treat the physical things keep us from logging our best miles. But when the great motivator in our head breaks down, where do we turn to? How does a runner learn to heal? How do you prevent injuries of the mind/spirit in the first place?

For now I am sticking to small stuff, mostly 30 minute cross training sessions, some treadmill, and a lot of reading and research to get my mental game back. I have lost the mental fortitude I went into my Nike Women's Marathon training with (Boston sucked the runner's life out of me?), and I am desperately seeking it back. Now I am trying to figure how to just shut up about all the bad stuff and get out for a nice, long run.

Boston in Pictures

Oh Boston. I am still in immense amounts of pain. Looking back through the pictures, I realized my Garmin was a little off (maybe it paused when I was running slower? IDK) so I only PR'd by about 20 minutes, not 30. NBD. That is still a huge PR.

I realized that I have a lot of potential (look at my early splits here bib #26525) and with some convincing have accepted the fact that if I had proper training (ie a trainer) I could BQ if I put in the time and effort. I just need someone to help me develop discipline. I am going to toot my own horn here: 2 marathons in 6 months. Not too shabby for a chick who couldn't run a mile 3 years ago.

Boston was short notice: 8 weeks to train, in a time where training was not ideal (finish MA, pink slips at work, blah blah blah). I didn't get the training miles in I wanted, I lost track of my fuel intake during the race and under-fueled, SUNBURNED (I did have sunscreen on fyi), and was not disciplined enough to take it slower (although I did slow myself down).  Despite all this, I still got a PR. Did I mention I got a PR? Still pretty stoked on my PR (ok, I am done).

Now, as promised by the title of this post, the best of Boston, in pictures:

Waiting in line for the bus with Charlyn, who also won an entry

I have always wanted to meet up with another blogger/runner. So happy I was able to meet Charlyn, who is just plain amazing, as is her dad. Talk about good people :)

Like a kid in field trip mode, super excited to be on the bus

So many people waiting to start.

Waiting for our turn to start

Fast food. Well, faster than me. Not Charlyn.

  

Boston is all about the fans. Everyone is so supportive.

If I would line my classroom with people like this, all my kids would feel like winners.

Not sure who these ladies were, but they were awesome.

Haven't tried the number yet. Wonder if she has changed it by now.

...before the hill kills you.

I loved these guys. They gave me extra push when I needed it.

Drinking on the roof. Good thing there were tons of medics everywhere. Boston Marathon=just another reason to tailgate. But on your roof.

If my legs and back weren't busy breaking, I am sure heart would have been too

Don't tease me.

yeah right girlfriend.

Wellesley was overwhelming, but in a good way. So much love.

if you like making love at midnight....

Smiling, because I had no idea how miserable I would be the next time I stood in that place.

Me at the finish the day before. I was a hot mess at the finish, so I am glad I took these shots before the race.

Boston

They weren't joking when they said Boston was wicked hard. Although I estimate I pr'd by about 30 minutes, this race felt impossibly hard. Every moved so fast at the start it was terribly difficult to follow my pacing guide. Even checking the Garmin every 30 seconds and slowing myself down, my splits for the first half were way too fast...some even 90 seconds faster than they should have been, and that was after slowing down. Had I done a better job with my splits, I may have finished under 5 hours. My next race WILL be sub 5!!!

Good things: the support on the course and from the communities is wonderful. It overwhelms you with joy. People are so kind, strangers cheer you like you are family. The volunteers are top notch and the race is run like a well organized machine. It really is a first class race. This is one of my favorite towns in America. It is so easy to navigate, great dining and a ton of fun.

Bad things: this is the course from hell. The first half is down hill and it is really hard to run conservatively with such an elite crowd. Boston is an expensive town so this is a very expensive race to run. I am in an insane amount of pain and for a minute I considered quitting running altogether (like that would really happen).

Someday, when I earn a BQ, I will come back give this course a swift kick in butt. I think I am going to look for a flat marathon to boost my confidence and looking into doing half marathons to improve my time and pacing. I am pretty sure that if I can conjure up some discipline, I could make huge gains in no time at all. Which, let's face it, I might be slow but I did shave a HUGE amount of time off my pr while running a notoriously difficult course. It that doesn't scream potential, I don't know what does!

More pictures and details to come once I am back on the best coast. Thanks for all your support!

Being on the plane surrounded by other marathoners is already curing the anxiety. That, and all the love and well wishes being sent my way. I am officially transitioned from nervous back to really really excited.

Early this week I resolved to give marathons a break. They are a lot of work both physically and emotionally. But seated amongst finishers jackets and eager racers, the bug is reminding me I probably couldn't stop racing if I tried.

I can't wait to do a race update. Yay for happy race endorphin times!

Race Weekend

Here's the deal:

Boston anxiety has consumed me. I am freaking out about being alone during the race and in the hotel.

The culprits:

* I feel like I don't deserve to be racing. I feel like a cheater for running without qualifying or raising money for a charity. Because of this, I feel awkward talking about the race and explaining to people that I am not fast. Especially people who ran it in the past and worked really hard to qualify.

* I am super paranoid about injuries. Last marathon I had to walk and hard terrible pain in my knee and hip. My knee has felt weird all week. Probably just my imagination, but it is still freaking me out. I want to run. I know I can have a great PR if I can just run and not walk.

* I am afraid of not finishing and disappointing my Boston peeps, and mom, who really helped fund some of the travel expenses to make this a reality. I know they wouldn't be disappointed, and that the only disappointed person will be myself, but as much as I try to convince myself of the logic, I still am freaking out.

Hence no posts, no mileage updates, and pretty much going dark for the past few weeks. I realize I did the same thing before NWM in October. How do other runners deal with the pre-race jitters with so much grace?


HOWEVER, I promise the next post will be exciting and full of positive news, a hopefully a new marathon PR, perhaps a sub 5 hour finish, and tons of great pictures.

24 hours until I leave for the airport. 72 hours until I am drinking to my victory.

3 weeks until Boston!

32 miles of training this week (wow)
17.5 mi long run @ 11:05/mi, lotsa hills, no music

2 of the last 4 runs were in the rain. Today was the first sunny day. Forgot to wear sunscreen, which is going to make recovery even more pleasurable. With Boston only 21 days away, there is no time for nonsense. Only one more long run between now and the race, and I feel really good about it. No pain or numbness, no chafffing or blisters, no urge to barf. However, this run might take a day or two to bounce back from. Planning a good run Wednesday morning before the long drive to Southern California for Me and the Mags Disney Adventure.

Today I practiced running with the camera to get used to holding it in Boston, where I am going to want to take TONS of pics. I thought I would share how AMAZING the scenery is on my runs. I love Northern California:

OKD, home of world class Chardonnay, Cabernet, and Merlot.

Luna, one of the wineries I run by in the OKD

Why they call it Oak Knoll District

Silverado Country Club, one of the golf courses I loop around

Where the wine comes from

Mustard in the spring makes the vineyards breathtaking

My future residence

Rain + Sun means vines will bud soon

Pretty much what we are all about up here: Wine, Cheese, Art

A friend I made along the way

I didn't run down the street with all the pigs and goats and sheep because I had to widen my loop to add miles. I was kinda sad not to see as many different animals. I also saw deer and a cow, and heard a couple roosters. Best part of the run? When a guy who I passed by an hour earlier passed by me on his bike again and told me I was doing a good job. The kindness of strangers is the best fuel on a run. When I got home, had a huge glass of chocolate milk and a ham and egg sandwich. Oh, and a little treat to reward myself for not giving up: Godiva Milk Chocolate and Salted Caramel. I didn't even have a full serving; 2 squares was satisfying enough this stuff is so rich. 

Training this week:

Tuesday: MAYBE an easy 2.5 miles, if my hips feel up to it

Wednesday: 4 miles, easy

Thursday: lots of walking (DISNEYLAND!)

Friday: MAYBE an easy 5 miles, if I don't have shin splints from Disneyland

Saturday: REST, travel day

Sunday: 20 miles

After this week, it's taper time!

You look fit. What was your BQ time?

I have to admit, I feel really guilty running the Boston Marathon without a BQ time. I didn't expect to feel this way, and I feel shameful when I have to explain that my last marathon was nearly 6 hours. Boston is an elite race, and I am not sure if I deserve the bib, but I have it and I am going to run it. And try to break 5 hours. Not only that, but it is a serious goal to get a BQ time and EARN my bib. Thats what this is all about, right? Working the race inspired me to be a runner, and running the race is going to inspire me to be a FAST runner. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

This morning was my first run with the local running club, The Vinerunners. Because of the rain and another race that was going on in the valley, only 3 members showed up. I swear, these are the nicest people I have ever met. They ran with me and filled my ego head with all sorts of word of encouragement. They cut the distance down to 4 miles for me (keeping it short to stay fresh for tomorrow's long run) and kept an easy pace as well. 4 miles in 39 minutes. Although this is not fast, it is much faster than I have been running, and it felt GREAT. It reminds me of the faster paces I would run when I had a running buddy.

After the fantastic run with the club, we went and got coffee. What we talked about:
Physics of light (seriously)
Plight of American schools
Alaska
How I can run a 3:30 marathon in no time at all (double serious!)

A running club is exactly what the doctor ordered to get my out of my funk. Despite the funk, March will still be my highest mileage month of 2011. Excited for my long run tomorrow!

Welcome to my big, fat pity party

5 weeks until Boston

14 miles of training this week

3 easy runs, rest week

This has been a bummer week and I have let it get the best of me. I am in a TERRIBLE funk. Luckily all my favorite blogs posted great weeks, and this is helping me put things into perspective. I am not there yet, but I am starting to turn this frown upside down. 

Because I am in a funk, I haven't felt like blogging or running. Thankfully I did more running than blogging, but fell short of my mileage goals. My mind is just not in the right place to marathon train. I need to change this fast. So I am going to try to take this advice, posted by one of my favorite bloggers (the blogger I won my Boston entry through). Man, does she come through when I need it the most. Straight from SUAR's blog:

"Whatever you are battling, patience is your friend. When we’re in the thick of hard times (and I’m not just talking about running) we think it will always be this way. It won’t."

Right now I am feeling like I can't get a break, but that is just my pity party talking. I did get a break: I got an entry to Boston, I have the means to get myself there and the physical ability to get myself over the finish line. That's big. I also just finished my Master's Degree. That is huge. I am the first person in my family to obtain a Master's Degree, and that is an accomplishment for all of us. I have to remind myself of this every day.

"The wonder of life is that there is ebb and flow. Highs and lows. Just as much as you can count on the low points, you can count on things turning around and heading up. Your “normal” might be different, but so be it. The only true thing we can count on in this life is that there will be change."

Whenever things get tough, I always cry and complain that I just want things to be normal and constant. I am not sure when I am going to realize that this is just not reality, but I need to get a better grip on that. Without the lows, we would never appreciate the highs. Instead of bumming, I need to embrace them to make myself stronger. That is the person I want to be. So I need to just suck it up and do it!

"Don’t waste energy comparing yourself to the next guy/gal/transvestite. Use all of your energy to keep moving forward with your goals. It’s overstated, but true: there will always be someone faster, stronger, thinner, richer, fitter, less constipated whatever. There will also always be someone slower, weaker, fatter, poorer, more out of shape, more constipated. The only way you can truly win is when you exceed your expectations for yourself. However that looks."

This week's training schedule:

3 miles Easy

6 miles Tempo

16 miles Long Run

My new diet plan requires that I exercise at least 30 minutes a day. This being a crazy week where I have to work late, I am not sure that is going to happen, but when I can do it, it is going to be great for cross training. Hopefully I can slim down and drop a few to make Boston easier.

7 weeks until Boston

12.75 miles of training this week; 30 minutes of cross-training
12 mile long run @ 2:13:29 (weak, I know)

Week 2 of training and the reality of meshing training and the rest of my life has reared it's ugly head. Had to skip speed training this week because of my little blood donation incident and didn't quite make my full 3 miles on Tuesday morning's early am run. The good news is that I didn't let it keep me from doing 12 miles today. Not my best 12, but 12 none the less.

Today was a little slower than usual, and I had to take breaks to stretch and let my body catch up with me. The nurse said that the shock of my blood donation fiasco would make running difficult (less oxygen delivered in my blood=less efficiency), so I am not surprised today was such a crappy run. But I did it, I feel good, had a great stretching session when I got home (man, will I be sore tomorrow, I can already feel it!), and I am going into the third of training with a positive, can do, gonna kick some butt attitude.

I was pretty nervous about passing out/getting ill because I had been pretty light headed and easily sick since the donation, so I chose to do a short route along the river near my house and just do laps (5 to be exact). Kinda boring, but safe because I was never more than 1.2 miles from the house. It was a good choice because there were lots of people around, just in case.

Good news, no tightness in the right hip today. Still having the left foot go numb in the first 8 miles (part of the reason I had to stop a lot), and my left knee and hip got a little irritated after mile 10. I am going to take pain as progress, because I had no troubles until I passed the distance I had covered in a previous long run. I think this is a message that it is going to be super important to get at least 20 miles before the marathon so my knee can get comfortable with the distance and not give me troubles on heartbreak hill.

This week's schedule:
Tuesday: Easy Run 3 miles
Thursday or Friday: Speed work 6 miles
Sunday: Long Run 14 miles

We are going to hopefully make up the speed work this week. I present for my MA Friday, so I think the speed work in the AM will be a good way to ease the nerves, build up my confidence, and make me feel good before I go before the panel. I am curious to see how I do tacking another 2 miles onto my long run, and excited to pass the half-marathon point in training. Maybe I will be ready for Boston after all!

And a final thought, thanks for all the kind wishes and support. Life seems crazy (almost too crazy right now), and the fact that people I have never met in my life care enough to say something to help me feel good about my training, well, it means so much. I am so thankful that the blogging community can bring you together with people you otherwise would have never had the pleasure of having in your life. Someday I want to meet you all!

8 Weeks Until Boston

19 miles of training this week
10 miles long run @ 1:47:22

Not too bad for week 1 of training, especially considering I am less than two weeks from presenting my work for my Master's degree, progress report grades were due, and wicked migraines kept trying to keep me down. Very proud of how I am making it happen and super excited to see all this hard work pay off! In the next 8 weeks I will have a Masters of Arts in Education and a Boston finishers medal.

Oak Knoll District: I'm down with OKD (ya you know me)

Today's run was great. I usually weave through the Oak Knoll District of Napa Valley on cute country back roads. I couldn't feel my hands until mile 2 because it was a little chilly this morning, but it was incredibly beautiful outside. I love running the morning after a long rain, everything is so fresh. I saw horses and sheep, lots of walkers and cyclist, and even a hot air balloon landing outside of a winery (super cool).  Everything was sparkling with dew and the asphalt was steaming from the warm sun. It was surreal.

What wasn't surreal was the tightness in my knee and the tightness in my right hip. While stretching before my run, I put a lot of time into stretching out my calves (since they have been giving me the most trouble lately) and forgot to do the hip flexors. Ooops. Maybe I need to make a pre-run stretching checklist.

This weeks schedule:

Tuesday: 3 miles easy
Thursday or Friday: 6 mile speed work
Sunday: 12 mile long run

I am VERY much looking forward to speed work this week. I am also going to start some strength and core training 2 days a week. The focus is to build up stamina so my body doesn't decide to quit on me when the miles pile up. Miles 18-24 were the hardest in San Francisco, and they are also the hardest in Boston (Heartbreak Hill anyone?).

After all, I have some awesome people coming out to see me. Within hours of my Boston announcement, they sent messages of support, telling me they were going to take the day off work to cheer me on. I feel so loved!

And the training begins!

Since I have a marathon to run in 61 days, I have gone and found myself a training plan. My goal for Boston: Run a sub-5 hour marathon. Super ambitious, especially since Nike Women's Marathon found me walking towards the end due to pain in my knee. But this time I am going to train hard, train smart, and run injury free. Let's just hope it isn't raining or snowing on race day. Or blowing cold winds either.

I made my training plan using the Smart Coach at Runner's World. I had to play with the intensity and weekly mileage a bit to get something that would work for me, and I feel pretty optimistic. So far I have run an easy 3 miles and a 6 mile tempo run at a 10:31 pace. I'll run 10 miles Sunday weekend as well. All this will prime me to finish under 5 hours.

People watching in the little gym today: the guy on the elliptical next to me checking out his guns. Fawning over himself. It amazes me how self-absorbed people can be in a public place. At least it helped the time go by on the dreadmill. I was afraid to run outside because I heard there might be thunderstorms tonight I am not in the mood to be struck by lightning. Ever.

This week I have felt so clear-headed. Even though the 5 am run was tough, I felt fast today on the treadmill. I found that happy place where your feet like light, your strides make you feel like you are gliding on clouds, and you never want to stop running. It took me 4.5 miles to get there, but the last 1.5 miles were fantastic. I hope I feel this good when I do some speed intervals next week.

This week everything seems to be coming together perfectly. My kids, even some of my lowest achievers, are making excellent gains, the cats are fighting less, more cuddles, my running is fantastic, and I feel in control. I hope that getting back into a running routine has brought back the peace I had back in August.

Things Just Got Serious

Apparently calling your Mom on Valentines Day and starting the conversation with " I have really REALLY big news" is inappropriate unless you are telling her about an engagement. But, there was HUGE news to be shared, monumental, life changing news.

I won an entry into the Boston Marathon! Seriously. I checked the blog and my email again to make sure it wasn't an elaborate dream. In 9 weeks, I will be running the most iconic marathon in America, the place where my steamy love affair with running got started. When the Bestie said big things were coming my way, she was right. Pregnant ladies are always right (or so I have been told). Check out Beth's blog Shut Up And Run and you can see how it all went down. I also had more page hits yesterday than I usually get in an entire week thanks to her post (aka me rechecking my blogs obsessively to see if someone is going to leave a comment. Almost an internet celebrity. I am SO thankful to Beth and the committee for choosing my entry. This means more than they could imagine, and more than I can even understand myself. It feels big, it is big, but my mind just can't wrap itself around how big this really is!

Serious race mean serious training. My first 5 am run today. I am determined to log lots of miles between now and then. Lots of short runs to up my fitness as well as the long runs I have been doing since the new year (thank goodness I started a training schedule before I had a race to run!). This 5 am thing is going to have to workout, because that is the ONLY time I have time to run right now. It's nice because my body is still too sleepy to revolt, so it feels better than an afternoon run. It's bad because it is worse than 3 cups of coffee on the intestines.

I AM GOING TO BOSTON!!!!! I am in my mid twenties and checking stuff off my bucket list left and right. How did I get this lucky? (I better remind myself of how lucky I am next week when the agony of finishing my masters/marathon training on crack/prepping kids for state tests sets in). The past 48 hours have given me a clarity that I had lost, given me a shot of excitement and optimism, and revived my old self that was already ready for more challenge. I can do this, I am so excited to get it done! This feeling of empowerment is what has kept me running. The timing is perfect. ITS ALL HAPPENING!

The neatest part of all this? My two FAVORITE bloggers are running Boston. I am dead set on meeting them both! This is better than being able to go to the Grammys or Oscars.

If any of my Boston peeps are reading this, I need a room for the weekend. Can you put me up? ;)