Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Same thing, different year

2.6 miles, 26:00 on treadmill

Supposed to be a much grander run. Apparently a double-double and milkshake for lunch= disaster on the treadmill. That unpleasant gurgle turned into a scream of terror as I ran out of that place. So, mileage cut short.

This time last year, I registered for my first marathon. It was my plan b, just in case I couldn't find a teaching job. I wanted to have something I could work towards, something I could accomplish to feel like I was still moving forward in life. And it worked.

In the past 12 months, I have completed my credential, earned my Master's degree, nearly completed my BTSA, and ran 2 marathons, improving my PR by nearly 20 minutes. I have already completed two of my goals for the new year: set new marathon PR and donate blood. I have had a very accomplished year.  The new challenge is not to let my new life complications get in the way of my sense of accomplishment and my ability to see that I am not failing in life. I'm not going to let these grey clouds rain on my parade!

So, I have been thinking to myself tonight, hours after I received my final reduction in force notice (pink slip) if I should register for my 3rd marathon to help get me through the next couple months and give me something to focus on.

There is something about the marathon, a comfort that other races do not hold. Maybe it is my personality, the desire to always be striving towards something big, that helps me feel better in my own skin. To feel like I am still doing my best, living life to it's fullest, despite other things that seem to be falling apart. But I have realized that I am in a place in my training where, if I want to continue to enjoy a sense of accomplishment in a race, I need to step up training. This means learning to manage my stress and all the nasty things that come with it so I can stick to a training plan. How do I overcome all the anxiety, worry, and depression that so often accompanies a major life change? This is the question I need to answer if I am going to break 5 hours and really grow into the runner I have the potential to become. Is it a good idea to register for next race?

I am glad I didn't register for NWM. I need to register for a race that won't put financial strain on me if I am out of work. Maybe something flat so I can feel confident going in and increase the likelihood that I will get that feeling of accomplishment that, given the current state of the economy and education, I might really need.

This weekend will help me kick start the positive thinking train, help me get back on track and keep my spirits up: Tomorrow the fabulous, gorgeous, and intelligent Maggie will be coming over to cook dinner and elliptical. Friday I get to see a crazy fun old HS/college friend from out of state for a really yummy dinner. And Saturday my absolute favorite, glowing, mama-to-be is coming over for elliptical/breakfast/and hopefully some treats (hopefully baby likes sweetie pies!). The universe has surely aligned quite a posse of ladies to make sure there are no pity parties this weekend.

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