Sunday, August 29, 2010

Monumental Turning Points

When you build a fortress to protect yourself from the heartache others have caused you, you tend to block EVERYBODY out. Once again Mom, you were right. I thought I was being independent, doing right by myself in efforts to make sure I would never have to depend on a man for anything. Men can't be depended on anyway, right? I couldn't see that I was setting up my life to have to do things alone.

Historically, I have never been one for teamwork. I hold true to the mantra "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." So if I really want to transition into the next phase of life, to find someone to spend the rest of my days with and start a family with, I suppose today is the day I am going to have to learn to be a team player. Folks, this is not going to be easy.

Aren't relationships about sharing and doing this as partners, together? Not just watching someone achieve their dreams and hoping that they mesh well with your own achievements? I am quite positive there is no good man who wants to sit back and watch as I buy my own house and plan my own trips while he just tags along. A good man will want to buy a house with me, plan trips with me. My problem? I haven't been properly schooled in what a man who is good for me looks like.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Oh Yeah!

Today was a critical milestone in my marathon training. I felt like I was in an epic training story, it was A-MAZ-ING! So, I get up this morning and I am totally pumped for my run, deciding to log 13 miles today with significant hill work, including the small mountain I scouted out last week. The hill starts a little before mile 4, and I am climbing up my merry little way. Now, this is no hill. This is a mountain appropriately named Atlas Peak. 15 minutes into the climb as I run around a turn, I just stop. I sit on the guard rail on the side of the mountain staring up at The Wall. If you are a runner, you know what I mean by The Wall, and it probably made you shudder just thinking about it. If you aren't a runner, The Wall is that thing you hit at the gym after panting on the treadmill for 10 minutes. The Wall knows no mercy and takes many victims.

So, staring up the hill at the wall, I start thinking maybe I set myself up for too much today. Then, the corniest thing happens. A song from Braveheart comes on the iPod and my Coach Stephanie appears out of no where. I look up the road, which climbs FOREVER, and I tell myself that part of training is making really hard choices. No one is going to push me up this hill, and if I quit here, I am going to cement that wall in place and never be able to conquer this peak. People DO NOT complete marathons by building walls. So what did I do? I channeled the Kool Aid man and busted through that wall (oh yeaahh!). One step at a time, watching my tempo, I climbed up the peak, and actually ended up running past my turn around point because I was loving the climb. And because there was this crazy looking goat at the top that I wanted to laugh at.

So, the final recap? I ran farther and longer today than I ever have in my life. 2 hours, 45 minutes. 14.1 miles. 1000 feet of ascent. I have never felt so confident about my ability as a runner. BOOYAH!

The last 24 hours have felt like everything in life was designed specifically for me. I don't feel like I am part of someone else's dream. This is my dream, everything has fallen into place into ways I never dreamed could be true, and I hope this amazing high lasts forever.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Good Things...

This Friday blog is so easy when things are fast, fun, and exciting. But when things are fast and frightening, these Friday blogs become that bag of saline hooked into your arm when you are in the ER. Or a road map when you are lost. I'll let you pick how dramatic you want to be today :)

Good things are that my classroom is pretty much good to go for the first day of school and all my policies, procedures, syllabi and nearing completion. By the end of the weekend the second week of school will be planned, and I should have a website up and going. If you are not a teacher, you have no idea what a seriously good thing is when you are a neophyte like me.

The good thing that will carry me through today is waking up to Bob Marley singing to ME "Don't worry about a thing every little things gonna be alright". Ok, not in person, in my head, but someone sent three little birds to my mind's doorstep telling me the chill out. Much appreciated Bob, much appreciated.

Lastly, having good friends who will help me talk stuff through without judging me too harshly is what is going to make it beyond the next week. There are so many path right now, and silly me, I have chosen the hardest one with IEDs and snipers all along the way. But if I can properly navigate things, everything might just turn out happily every after.

Happy Friday everyone! I'm off to find my belly laugh for the day so I don't turn into psycho first year teacher. Big run this weekend, with a new hill (or dare I say MOUNTAIN!) so there should be much to complain share with you soon!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

More Chortles!

Thought for the morning: life needs more laughter. Laughing feels so good. Therefore my new goal is to try to have a hearty laugh at least once a day. I'm going to laugh more, and hopefully the people around me will as well. No more woe is me!

I mean, life is just too short to live any other way :)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Good Things!

I have kinda been slacking on posting good things every Friday, but this week I will not let you down.

This morning I had the best run I have had in a long time. A new route and I felt AMAZING the entire run.  Usually I have to fight through the three mile funk before I warm up the exhilaration of running, but not today! I might have even been SMILING while running. Imagine that! I didn't get the hills in as much as I was craving, but I found a spur off this new route that is going to promise some very sweet climbs. This is the second wind I really needed to get for the last 2 months of marathon training. Three runs already this week and I am going to try to squeeze in one more. Hooray!

More good news? The Bestie is starting a book club. I am stoked. I swear, she knows exactly what I need and delivers just when I need it! I doubt she did it because of me, but I am going to give her credit for it anyways. She is amazing. I never been in a book club before. Another first to add to the list in this new chapter of my life!

The cat has finally calmed down and stop mauling me and all the people near and dear to me. Dare I say she is happy?  (Dare!Dare!). I haven't had one problem with her since we got to Napa, and I am relieved. If she didn't shape up, we were going to have to explore other options, which wasn't looking so good for her. Guess she just doesn't work well under stress. Or perhaps it is the fact that now I have my classroom keys and curriculum, I am finally settled into my place, and I am starting to meet new people, I am no longer wallowing in my own stress, bringing her down with me. I hope she is not a barometer of myself, because she was really terrible the last 2 months. I'd like to think I was not that bad.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Run for the Hills!

Ever get that feeling that you need to run up hills? I got that today. Another sign my training is not hopeless. I am addicted to the incline!

Tomorrow morning I am just going to run out towards the hills until I find a good one that makes me feel like I am going to collapse. And then I am going to run home. And this REALLY excites me.

Am I sick or what!

Photo Credit

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

...and not so much

So, I thought I was going to have tons of trash talk about The Bachelorette season finale, but instead I just wept throughout the entire 2 hour episode. Right.

Instead we will discuss less pitiful things, like my new classroom and getting my fitness back on. Yes, I started working on my fitness and I am loving my new fitness room. I love love LOVE watching trashy TV while I am running, even though I read some health report that said watching TV when running makes you work less hard and burn less calories. But I know my abs are getting a work out when I am laughing out loud. It also helps to drown out the animalistic grunting of men using the weight machines. I am a single lady, I can't handle hearing men grunt or seeing them all sexy sweaty when they are working out. It is like I am 13 and boy crazy all over again. Help!!!!!!!

Tomorrow AM, when that cozy foggy marine layer is hanging in the trees, I am going to hit the pavement and log some miles. I want to log a decent double digit long run this weekend, so I need to build up right. No injuries!

Speaking of injuries, I look like Nancy Kerrigan. I fell on the stairs AGAIN and my knees look battered. Didn't hurt on the treadmill, which is good to know. My body is trying to sabotage me, but it will not win!

This week I will sanitize my classroom (even though it will be filthy by the end of second period on the first day of school) and hopefully get some stuff up on the walls. Maybe even start some curriculum planning. I am trying to come up with clever ways to make my classroom inviting and lighthearted for high school students. I teach Algebra this year. I hate corny stuff (like that poster with that kitten about to fall out of a tree that says hang in there) but love dry humor. What do you remember in your high school math classes and what would you have liked to look at?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The big 5-0!

50 blog posts... I never would have thought I could stick with this for so long. So now I have given myself a pat on the back and polished my gold star, you can also send me your warm love-filled congratulations for not giving up like I did on my photoblog.

Summer is that time of year when everyone moves. I try to move once a year because I get bored with my housing, enjoying bruising my legs and arms so I look like a black and blue giraffe, and like the magic of searching for everyday items hidden away in a sea of boxes. I bet you are asking yourself if you still have time to take advantage of the finer points of moving, and the answer is yes. Moving season is open until Labor Day. Score for you! (No, I will not help you move!)

For a single girl like me, moving means time spent with the parents, the only people who can't make excuses for not helping you move, even if they live 8 hours away. I am very VERY fortunate my parents made the drive this weekend to help. It is also fun to observe other twenty somethings moving with the help of their parents. The gusher of pride that comes with knowing your child is becoming financially independent is radiant and overflowing. Parents will go out of their way to make their kids uncomfortable, introducing them to any neighbor who walks by. Mine are guilty. So are my neighbors. Like children, parent scramble around through boxes and piles to find artifacts to present to new neighbors that showcase something you might have in common with their child. My neighbor's dad dug through his clothes to find his Chico State shirt, much to my neighbor's dismay. It was that funny/cute/awkward thing you still deal with, no matter if you are 10 or 30. You gotta love parents.

Blogging on stolen wi-fi, I will be very happy to have TV and internet tomorrow. After all, The Bachelorette season finale is tomorrow night.  Plan A is to watch it on while running on the treadmill for 2 hours for my weekly "long run". Plan B is to sit on my butt and watch it in my box dungeon. Both sound fabulous, am I right? Expect a snarky reflection on ABC's biggest contribution to society later this week. Good thing it is coming to an end so I am not distracted planning for the new school year. That makes me wonder... when is Glee starting back up? :)