When you build a fortress to protect yourself from the heartache others have caused you, you tend to block EVERYBODY out. Once again Mom, you were right. I thought I was being independent, doing right by myself in efforts to make sure I would never have to depend on a man for anything. Men can't be depended on anyway, right? I couldn't see that I was setting up my life to have to do things alone.
Historically, I have never been one for teamwork. I hold true to the mantra "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." So if I really want to transition into the next phase of life, to find someone to spend the rest of my days with and start a family with, I suppose today is the day I am going to have to learn to be a team player. Folks, this is not going to be easy.
Aren't relationships about sharing and doing this as partners, together? Not just watching someone achieve their dreams and hoping that they mesh well with your own achievements? I am quite positive there is no good man who wants to sit back and watch as I buy my own house and plan my own trips while he just tags along. A good man will want to buy a house with me, plan trips with me. My problem? I haven't been properly schooled in what a man who is good for me looks like.